I attended a conference today for work and assumed most people didn't know about my BC so I intended not to talk about it. I'm the chair of a committee and when we met, I realized I may not be in attendance at the next meeting in a few months so I casually let them know I have BC and wasn't sure how I'd be feeling. It's uncomfortable for me because I don't want to make a big deal, but how do my associates feel?
They laughed a little and kept going with the conversation and we unofficially identified a vice chair to serve in my absence. Once we finished committee business, the new "vice chair" said she was sorry and that I was too young for this shit. I agreed and quickly explained that it came out of nowhere, I start chemo next week and this led to discussing benefits at my employer and if they were good. I gave her my blog info and was appreciative that she cared to ask questions, obviously we aren't close and have only met a handful of times, but how thoughtful for her to start the conversation.
Another associate at the conference asked how I was doing and that he'd seen on Facebook what was going on, nothing more needed to be said. I had a really good talk with another colleague who asked questions and didn't seem that uncomfortable. It was nice to talk to someone I know a little better and not feel that uncomfortable weight for either of us.
As I drove home this evening, I wondered if my non chalant attitude disturbs people, makes them uncomfortable or gives them an out to not discuss it if they don't want to. BC is a huge issue in my life now and dominates most of my thoughts; I am sure most people wish I never mentioned it but I'm not sure who they are.
There are other people who I believe would want to know, but in the professional world, how do I determine who's who? I would love to send an email to those I work closely with, and have for several years, if anything as an FYI. I would hate to be the last to find out someone I knew and worked with was going through a similar situation from another party. However, the question then becomes, would they feel obligated to contact me, send me well wishes, etc.? Or would I have made the right choice so it isn't awkward when we are in a meeting without my hair and going through chemo.
As I ponder the options, I also wonder who else is going through their own difficult journey that I know nothing about....
These are all good comments and concerns. I personally think for the most part , that your closet colleagues know what's going on. This will dispel any silly rumors.
ReplyDeleteLove you my darling daughter!!
I wouldn't bother with an email though, as your paths collide they will find out what they need to at that time.
Thank you Mom!!!
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