2015, we had a time

2015 has been a year of ups and downs, positives and negatives and everything in between. I started the year with a nissen fundoplication, aka stomach surgery for my acid reflux. I was on a liquid diet for a couple months and excited that I could eat and drink again without vomiting acid! That excitement kept on going when Chuck and I flew to Texas to see my mother and sister in May and took Nate to Lego Land in Florida in July. I finished my MBA and graduated in September followed by a wedding between my friend Cat and her wonderful husband.

I'm still amazed that a passing comment by my ob/gyn led to me getting a mammogram that found stage two breast cancer. Thank you insurance for covering mammo's prior to the age of 40. I shudder to think how far the stage would have progressed if not for this life saving test.

My vocabulary and knowledge has broadened this year, from my stomach surgery to learning that I'm triple positive and what that entails. I've learned that vaginal ulcers are real, they hurt and are a side effect of my last round of chemo drugs. I've learned that I suck at healing while on chemo from dog bites to yeast infections, I'm on round three of Diflucan. My body has decided that having a yeast infection, vaginal ulcers and hemorrhoids at the same time is a gift that chemo keeps on giving.

As I look into 2016, I have surgery's to contemplate and yearly colonoscopy's to endure to ensure this cancer is one time only. I truly never considered that breast cancer would be in my future and its certainly made me think of things I should of done, cancer and life insurance, and things I have yet to do. I am holding onto the fact that I'm awesome and will take this journey to heart as I determine my next steps in my career, rescue, etc.

As always, I am truly thankful for my friends, family, husband, Mother and everyone else that has reached out to me. My appreciation knows no limits when I talk about my support system. I've learned that many women aren't so lucky, so please take to heart my thankfulness.

This New Years Eve, we are home, I'm hoping for no diarrhea and the wisdom of my loved ones to stay safe tonight as the alcohol flows. Peace out peeps

Next rounds of chemo

Chemo makes me tired with flu like symptoms. It just plain sucks and I feel like I have the constant flu with aches, chills, etc. I finished my first round of chemo meds and start my next round of new chemo meds next week. Good news is less nausea, bad news is continued fatigue and diarrhea. Like I need any more reason to hate the bathroom.

I still don't feel like I have cancer, I would never know if it weren't for the chemo. I have one of the better cancers, treatable, I have a plan of action and know I'm going to make it through but it still feels weird. My tagline is currently, "I got the cancer", what else do you say to people? I'm still working which is expected on this type of chemo but I really, really wish I could just take life off for the next year and do what I want to do on my good days instead of work.

My husband is amazing and picking up my slack with no complaints but it would be nice to help clean, laundry, etc. on my feel good days. Instead I'm at a desk, working.... It should come to no surprise to those who know me that there is always something I'd rather be doing than working. I truly believe we are meant to win the lottery, our marriage has seen the worst yet we keep trudging through. We deserve a flipping break, at least one years worth.

I'm not counting on 2016 to be this year as cancer will continue and lead the way to surgery's but maybe 2017 will be our year. It feels as though I'm just floating through life with no clear goals and its annoying. I refer back to an earlier post where I mentioned a marathon, I know that isn't realistic but I do need to have a realistic goal that would motivate me. Yes, I have cancer and I need to focus on me but I'm not getting younger and I just feel stagnant. Hard to explain I guess.

I think coming home from work, eating and going to bed is wearing on me like corduroy pants. Loud and annoying. I understand staying positive and living in the moment but it just feels like "meh" in the words of Lyndsay...

Benefit update

I have no words to describe how amazing and awesome today was!!!! My friends go beyond amazing, they are stupendous. The benefit was today and everything was more than I could imagine. Cat and Viola lead the charge followed by Beth, Lyndsay, Lisa, Nicki, Trisha, Salina and Teresa. These women are my best friends and it is no surprise that they threw one hell of a benefit to raise funds for me and my family.

The donations were great, the gift baskets were beautiful and Beths husband was kickass in getting the camper donated. There were so many great people that attended from my sister and her sons, to coworkers, former coworkers, more friends and everyone in between. I can't believe how many supporters I have on this journey. I've said it once and will continue saying it, I'm overwhelmed by the love.

Today started out with me being tired and ended with me being tired but for different reasons. My mouth hurts from smiling, my voice hurts from talking and my arms have never hugged so many. Thank you to everyone involved in making today a success, a thank you card can't hold my gratefulness.

Randi's chemo side effects

Chemotherapy is a necessary evil for those facing cancer, myself included. The treatments are rough on the body and cause varying side effects. Some are tolerable, some are less tolerable and some are plain gross.

Hairloss is one of the common side effects for breast cancer patients. This is frustrating, a little embarrassing, for some demeaning but a tolerable side effect. I have chosen to rock my bald head opposed to wearing a wig or scarf. I am very lucky that my head has a nice round shape, no divets, craters or lumps and brings out my blue eyes. I have some hats if needed to keep my noggin warm here in Ohio but mostly carry a hat in my purse instead of on my head. Yes, it immediately appears that I have cancer, or a wicked fashion sense, but I feel that wearing a scarf or wig would show the same thing.

Hairloss goes beyond my head, I don't have to shave my armpits anymore! I am pretty happy about this because I suck at shaving, I constantly cut myself or in some way cause bleeding. My leg hair isn't completely gone, but close enough so I don't have to shave. Now for the personal hairloss, my girly hair is pretty much gone. It's weird, that hair helps direct pee! I never thought about it until my coworker mentioned that one of her friends learned real quick how helpful that hair is in directing the flow.

Nausea is another common side effect, I've been very lucky and only had a few minor moments when I had to take some meds. Overall, I'm relieved that this side effect hasn't reared its ugly head, yet. I start new chemo drugs in a few weeks and new side effects may emerge.

Now, the gross... I have internal hemorrhoids that I learned of through my multiple colonscopies. They don't bother me, I didn't feel they were there until I started chemo. I now have butt periods, I don't know what else to call them. It sucks! I talked to my oncologist, and chemo flares my internal hemorrhoids so I get to bleed every time I potty. I felt like this was a side effect not discussed, if others have this issue, now you know.

Tired.... So tired. This is my main side effect. I was tired all of the time prior to chemo, but now I constantly feel drained. I receive a white blood cell injection the day after chemo and it wipes me out. I sleep the entire weekend after chemo and feel like I have the flu for a few days. This is what prevents me from making, and potentially breaking plans.

There it is, a quick and dirty overview of side effects from the current chemo. Overall, not that bad but still falls under #cancersucks.....

My benefit is Saturday

How many times in a lifetime does a person have a benefit thrown for them? For me, it's this Saturday, December 12th starting at noon at my friends bar, Triple Shotz (https://m.facebook.com/pages/Triple-Shotz-Cajun-Island-Cafe/629319480556877) at 2700 Brice Rd in Reynoldsburg, Ohio.

There will be amazing auction items including a camper, yes a camper donated by http://www.golittleguy.com/ through my friends RV dealership, http://www.haydocyairstream.com/index.php. A freaking camper has been donated to raffle off in my honor!!! WTF?! It is beyond amazing, overwhelming, exciting and scary that my story moved Little Guy to donate. It's crazy that my journey brought my friends together to organize an amazing benefit to help raise funds for when I'm on leave due to chemo or upcoming surgery's.

I am not a person who cries but this Saturday, how can I not being surrounded by those I love and who care so much about me. I don't know how to thank everyone involved from the board to the organizations and individuals who have donated. My husband and I are humbled at the outpouring of love and generosity. I really hope that I'm able to convey my appreciation because y'all are truly amazingly awesome peeps.

I hope that those reading this blog can come out for fun, prizes, hugs, tears and gratitude. I am pumped to show up around 3 p.m. with my husband in tow to greet so many exceptional friends and family. I'm not sure how to end this post but with thank you, I love you and I appreciate y'all. I am a very lucky woman