Beer and paranormal shows

I'm less than a week from returning to work and I'm choosing to drink and watch paranormal shows instead of going to bed.  I have that feeling where getting a little toasty sounds good and why not watch a show about crop circles?  I normally drink a few drinks a few nights a week, I have always enjoyed drinking but have gotten better at understanding my tolerance. When you don't have to get up early and are able to ignore any pains or aches, alcohol is a nice substitute.  I totally wish my best girl friends lived closer so we could meet and catch up at, 12:48 a.m.; because we would be around the corner from each other. The bummer is, we aren't, we're adults; with homes, kids, significant others, circumstances that prevent us from meeting on a Thursday at a common, local bar at 1:00 a.m.

When I was younger, getting a call at this time of the morning would mean that I would walk my Blueberry, get dressed (unless I was already dressed) and drive to a location where my friends were to drink, even for an hour or two, to catch up and be young.  Now that I'm older, 37, calling friends at 1:00 a.m. means something's wrong, I'm in trouble or worse. There is no, "Hey, get up, we're going drinking to catch up and talk about my current reason why I'm up so late"; obviously, if my marriage was asunder, dog died, I was fired, etc. my gf's would be up but on average, I would be greeted with" WTF Randi?!".  I understand this sentiment because if I was awoken with a phone call of non importance at 1:00 a.m. I would be PISSED.  My friends know not to call me, even in drunk form, when they really don't need anything.  I value my sleep, very much, but value my friendships more; when not used in vain.

I love that my friends have supported me through this journey to an extent that I expected, but was still surprised. My family has consisted of my friends, I'm lucky to have each of my ladies (and a few guys) that love me unconditionally regardless of my bitchiness, hair loss, sickness, and any other factor that make me unwheely at times. I appreciate that my personal family, outside of blood, has always accepted me as LOUD, crazy, poor decision making, lover of dogs (especially Blueberry) and all of the other reasons that make me, ME. This journey has been hard, difficult, weird and many other adjectives that I'm unable to articulate but drinking on a Thursday night at home really brings home how lucky I am.  If I chose to drive, safely, to a bar and called each of you, you would find a way to meet me to ensure I was safe, sane, and in a good place.  How many people have friends/loved ones who fit that bill?  Not many, I assume.

My Coco is "digging" her comfortable spot in front of me in the carpet, Gracie Mae has built her "nest" in the couch blanket, Hazelnut has made herself comfortable on the stairs and Pepper has snuggled up next to Chuck while I am typing in the living room, watching a movie about young kids developing time travel, while drinking another beer. I know how awesome my life is; I know how amazing my time has been thus far, I can never describe how fabulous my life will be but I am confident that post cancer will definitely rock more than cancer. Thanks to those that read my posts, support my decisions, support ME and recognize that we need to make today/tomorrow/Saturday count.  I survived cancer, how many people can say that?!  I assume thousands, millions? For me, I survived, and plan to keep surviving; each of you have made this possible.  Your life will always matter, will always make a difference in the trajectory of life, you matter. Look at your goals and go for them; look at how you want to save the world and fix it; look at how you want to make a difference and do it; what problems do you want to solve, what solution do you need to find, what wrong needs to be right?! Each of us has the answer. Stop just going to work; what do YOU want to do?! We all need a job to pay the mortgage, pay the car payment, provide dog food or childcare but how we meet these necessities is our choice. I'm at this crossroads; I have a kickass job, but is it what I want to do? NO, but that doesn't mean I leave my goals, it means I work to identify my goals/love/reason. I can't wait to identify how I meet my needs vs my goals; how have y'all?