It isn't very often that I don't have something to say... Today was one of those days. A fellow rescuer had her husband's funeral today. He was in his early 40's and passed away suddenly last week. I had no words for her; I gave her a hug, complimented her shoes and stood staring at her husband in the casket. I've known them for over seven years through rescue. Although we aren't close, I know what good hearts they both have and just can't imagine her grief.
Having cancer has brought to light how fragile life truly is but I still don't worry about passing away from it. I don't think about the many women with my type of breast cancer who don't make it, it's too depressing and quite frankly overwhelming. As I stood in line to offer my condolences, it made me think of my husband losing me. He has a real fear of me passing away from cancer or the subsequent surgery's. He doesn't sleep well and tries not to share his concerns with me, but they slip out.
We have all heard carpe diem, YOLO and many other phrases related to seizing the day but nothing prepares you like losing a loved one. As I get closer to my surgery date I'm preparing my will and POA for healthcare to ensure my husband knows my wishes. I'm thinking of who would help take care of my dogs, who would want my fabulous shoes (size 8 1/2-9) or if my mother or sisters would want something specific.
Most of all, I thought of the words spoken at today's service describing a caring man, husband, brother and father. I only knew him through rescue but it was obvious how loved he was. I have become a different person than I ever thought through my love for rescue, my loving husband and life in general that I've built. I hope that if something does happen that I'll have loved ones tell funny stories and talk about my good heart. It won't matter that I have a good job, nice home or decent cars. The time and effort I've put into myself to help others will hopefully shine.
I urge y'all to call that friend you haven't spoken to in years, reach out to your parents, try new opportunities that scare you and most of all be a decent human that brings a little something to this crazy world. We aren't all rescuers, but we all have the ability to make a difference.
My heart goes out to Sarah and her family during this difficult time. Although I don't have the words to share my deepest sympathies, I hope that her loss can be our gain as we seize our days.
Randi, you have absolutely made an impact on my life. It's hard for any of us to say those words to you because it's "feels" like we don't have absolute hope you are going to beat this. We all cried when the news came. All of us. If you recall I hid from you because I didn't want you to see me suffer. My thoughts were "she doesn't need to see me cry. She doesn't need to worry about me" Well, you are still
ReplyDeleteOur Randi and not just breast cancer Randi. So we circle back, dry our tears and make the most of it. Thank YOU for forcing me/us to do that. Know that I love you very much Randi .. And I have many funny stories to tell about our crazy escapades... Now.. I will go call my mom :)
Thank you Viola, I love you too!!
DeleteIt's reminders like this that helps me hug my children a lot tighter at night. Love you Randi. You always had the best of heart. Always fun loving. But the thing I will remember the most in high school is your fear of public speaking :). You were literally crying and laughing and saying it's ok, I'm fine-all at the same time. Do you still have a fear of public speaking? I hope and wish I have done goodie my life-I know there is just so much more to do. I'm trying to pass on the same message to my daughters.
ReplyDeleteI've actually gotten a lot better at public speaking! Man I hated doing it in school. I want to pass the same onto my stepsons.
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