When you tell people you're from Texas, they immediately conjure up images of cowboys, dust, horses, barbecue, and big, big, big. Although I was born in Tucson, Arizona, I'm from Dallas. All of my memories originate in or around the big D. I've lived in Ohio 18 years, but will always consider myself a Texan. I support everything Dallas, from the Stars to the Cowboys to the Rangers, even though I'm really a college football and hockey fan. I'm supportive of all Texas college football teams (unless they are playing Texas, then I support Texas, Hook 'Em!). My Mom recently moved from the Dallas area to Abilene in west Texas. I flew into DFW on my way to Abilene this past week, for the first time, I didn't stop. I didn't email/text/Facebook message friends from high school to meet for lunch or dinner. I landed where I've always felt like home, and immediately boarded another plane to visit my Mom. I can't explain how weird it feels to potentially never land at DFW and not stay.
I've been in Abilene for a few days, I arrived last Friday, and this town is different from Dallas and Columbus, Ohio. There are two movie theaters in this town, the new one and the old one. My Mother and I visited one of the two breweries in town this past Saturday, the chairs were uncomfortable, dogs were welcome, and the beer was okay. I spent Sunday in my pj's after taking Mom to the airport, and watched movies and Netflix all day. It was glorious, the dogs and I just hung out, it was nice to relax, not worry about plans or doing anything. Monday began with food at a deli downtown, hitting the bank, and showing up at the tattoo shop my Mom suggested only to stay for six hours. Yes, six hours..... I had a quote tattooed on my right shoulder, "I don't know how my story will end, but nowhere in the text will it ever read..."She gave up". I've been thinking about this quote for a while, it really sums up this chapter, and the next, and the next. I also had a vine of yellow roses updated on my lower back that I had tattooed when I was 25, 13 years ago, a tattoo that my friends lovingly purchased for me. It was my first tattoo; now I have seven. The tattoo artist also added significantly to the tattoo, it's much larger and no longer a lower back tattoo, now it's a back tattoo. I love it!
Tuesday in Abilene... after binge watching an awesome Netflix show Sunday to Monday, Crazyhead, I binge watched another awesome show, Defenders, on Tuesday. I watched The Dark Tower at the "old movie theater", had Italian at a pretty good local restaurant and ended the watching Redbox movies that night. Today's plan is to water my Mom's plants, check her P.O. Box, and visit the local museums. Yes, there are museums in Abilene! I'm not sure if they rock or not, but I'm immersing myself into the culture. I also booked my next adventure...... Cbus to San Fran to Oregon to Seattle back to Cbus. I'm excited for this next chapter!! I'm not sure how long my book will be, but each chapter signifies that I'm moving forward. I'm working on my next steps in my career. A friend is researching how to market my blog, I'm researching how to become a consultant, friends and family are contacting me with ideas of how to keep this adventure going (hopefully on someone else's dime).
I'm trying to decide who I am, am I a houser, a community development person, a rescuer, an adventurer, a lazy ass that pays for the YMCA but never goes. Am I a breast cancer survivor, a lousy roommate, sometimes a good friend, sometimes an awesome dog mom? Obviously, I'm everything, all the things, and sometimes none of the things. Post cancer Randi has gotten divorced, discovered that she needs to learn to cook at least a little, misses cuddling (until I get too hot), seeks adventure, wants to travel, desires more than a 9-5 in a safe/comfortable position, is looking forward to discovering who I am. I'm 38 and still figuring out who I am, what I want, where I want to go, what type of guy I'd like to be with. My ex-husband describes my physical type as either hot or a big bear looking dude, he identified that I'm on both ends of the spectrum regarding looks. I never really pay attention to who I'm attracted to, I just am, or I'm not. A smile is a huge turn on, intelligence and humor are important, having a job or being independently wealthy is pretty awesome, a car isn't as important nowadays with "green" being so environmentally conscious, finding me attractive is nice, loving dogs is even better, recognizing that you can make a difference in this world regardless of how you do it makes me smile.
Yes, I'm still online dating, and thinking of asking random guys on the street, in the store, at the bar if they are single. I'm considering having friends set up a table at a club and giving guys five minutes to get past them for the honor of talking to me. Although I'm traveling, figuring out who I am, having a partner would still be awesome. Feeling the flutter of butterflies at a look, text, or phone call would be ideal. As I'm traveling, blogging, thinking, discovering, I'm keeping my options open. Perhaps I'll be walking down the street in San Francisco and find a guy who also likes his coffee black, or I'll be in the movies with my bare feet up on the bar at my seat and look over to see a guy smiling back at me noticing my kickass pedicure. I'm trying to be self-aware, I suck at flirting, I am not the best at smiling back at a guy because I don't notice that they are smiling at me, or I assume they aren't smiling at me. I have no problem talking to people, male or female, I'm loud, I'm straight forward, I am told I can be intimidating, I am also told I'm awesome and fear that I'll outshine some guys. This isn't a conceited statement.... I mean that a lot of guys aren't as bold as I am. I feel like I would run them over with my personality. However I continue going about this thing called dating, I'm still enjoying my life, my adventure, writing my chapters as I go.
Note: you are a great friend!
ReplyDelete