09-30-15

Team DIEP; Team Cancer; Team Breast Cancer; Team have to explain scars; Team gets sick easily; Teams bruises easily; Team new life

September 30, 2015, at the age of 36, I had a 3D mammogram that literally saved my life.  I requested the mammo from my ob/gyn for no other reasons than my insurance covered it and it made sense to me to get a baseline for my mammo when I turned 40. Zero family history, zero lumps or bumps, zero concerns from my doctor or myself.  That mammogram to this day hasn't been covered by insurance because it was 3D, which my insurance considers experimental, despite detecting stage 2 triple positive aggressive cancer in my left breast.  As I look back 2 years to the day, I wasn't concerned, I was worried it might be uncomfortable, but no thoughts or concerns came to me of possibly something being found.  I had zero issues, my doctor said I didn't need it, the mammo tech said I had dense breasts and would most likely be asked to be rechecked for this reason.  I had a carefree weekend, when the call came for an ultrasound, again, no concerns....... Until 2 radiologists came in my room after over an hour of me being alone telling me to go to a breast surgeon that DAY.  The rest has been explained in this blog.....

I can't adequately explain how the last 2 years have been, I don't feel there are enough adjectives, words, or feelings to describe what I've been through; or what those I love have been through. I do know that now when I see a bald woman, I want to run to her and say I understand, I know that you don't want to talk about it, you just want to go out with your girlfriends for a carefree night.  I want to say, be bold, be brave, be bald.  I long to hug them, and show them my tattoo in solidarity.  I understand so much more about life than I ever did. 

I was married, with a full time kick ass job, just graduated from my MBA when I had my first mammogram.  Currently, I'm unemployed (by choice), divorced (by choice, but have a great friend out of it), sitting at my kitchen table about to work on meeting minutes for a board I serve on drinking coffee.  Yesterday, my 2 year anniversary of my first mammogram, I was sick with the stomach flu not realizing the date.  I hope that every year, September 30, October 12 (date of diagnosis), March 24 (date of last chemo), and May 17 (cancer free), will no longer matter as much. Instead, I hope the date my stepson gets married, the date I meet my special someone, the date I feel beautiful again are the dates I rejoice. I am still extremely confident in my decision to leave my job to travel, gather myself, and discover who I am now.  

I look forward to be a member of Team found my person; Team found my dream job; Team followed my heart (although I'm at least an honorary member of this one). I urge every woman to please get your mammograms, check yourselves regularly, and donate to causes that actually help women.  There are few resources to help pay bills, take women to appointments, clean their homes, help with their pets, pay their utilities, help with anything else they need including hugs and love.  Please research before you walk or donate to a charity, I was lucky, I have amazing insurance, love, and support but so many women don't.  If your insurance doesn't cover mammograms, help fight for early detection.  If you can't get one on the mobile mammogram bus because you're under 40, get a script from your doctor, if you have family history, GOOOOOOOO.

Men, self-check, self-check, self-check.  We all have breasts, we just like women's better, but that doesn't mean yours aren't just as important.

I'll continue to update y'all on my journey, I know I've been lacking and damn if I haven't seen some gorgeous places and met amazing people.  My words haven't slowed down, they've just been interrupted by living life.