Austin city limits

I have really struggled with a plan on what to do since I left my job and started my hiatus.  I have talked about moving, selling my house, and starting over. I have nothing holding me in Columbus; the housing market is strong so selling my house should be easy, I don't have kids, I'm not married, I don't have a job to leave. I've talked about leaving Ohio since I arrived, I never in my wildest dreams imagined I'd be in this state for nearly two decades.  I have been extremely lucky to have had great jobs, met my best friends, been married, been a stepmother, become a home owner, and get involved in dog and cat rescue. I have had ups and downs, sideways adventures, heartbreak, heart revival, learned that I really can do anything from surviving cancer to earning a Master's degree. I am at a point where I need a change, I want to do something different, go somewhere new.

I've decided to leave Ohio and move to Austin, Texas.  I've missed my home state since I left at the age of 20, and although a good portion of the state is conservative and old white men rule, Austin has stayed weird and I love it.  I always have a great time when I visit, and I've said if I returned to Texas, it would be to Austin. I plan to apply to law school at UT, I could finally become a real longhorn!  Obviously there is a lot of planning to do, like find a job, a place to live, sell my house, tell my hot flashes to calm it down. I'm excited, scared, and ready for this next chapter.  Although I will miss everyone in Ohio, I'm a plane ride away, and it's going to be a couple of months before I roll out.  I'm going to start studying for the LSAT, I have study materials ordered and being shipped from Amazon.  I've always thought I wanted to be a veterinarian when I grow up, but really, I just want to help animals, and people in need. I feel being a lawyer will open up so many opportunities for me to make a difference in the areas I care about.  Mind you, being accepted to law school is hard..... being accepted to UT Austin is harder. I may move down there and never be accepted, but I know that moving from Ohio is definitely my next chapter.

I am flying to Austin at the end of the month, there's a law day at the university I would like to attend, and I want to wander around the city a little. I'll be staying at a hostel, this time I booked a co-ed room which will be interesting.  I am so excited to start this new adventure!!!

Travel, travel, travel

My last day at my job was August 4th, five months ago!  I can't believe that I actually followed through leaving a government job, traveling, and enjoying the hell out of myself during this hiatus.  I have been to Seattle, Oregon, San Francisco, Abilene and Austin Texas, Boston, Maine, New Hampshire, Florida, Montreal, Vegas x 2, and the Grand Canyon.  I loved the east and west coasts, that is the ocean I aspire to stare at and find my peace.  I was able to see friends, family, and meet new people.  I wouldn't say I have the travel bug, but I was proud of myself for staying in hostels, walking in new cities alone, seeing amazing art, sharing my pictures, and learning more about this great nation.  Although my BFF lives in Florida, it has been confirmed that it's much too hot there.  I loved Boston, but the cost of living is crazy, and those winters..... I loved Oregon, but where I would want to live is outside the city, slim pickings on jobs. I went mushroom picking, visited Crater Lake (despite a white out, the drive there and back was gorgeous), hiked along beaches, and saw life everywhere I turned from sea lions within reach to organisms in cracks within the beach along the ocean.  Seattle was a blast, I met a guy with a plane, and we went to an island with his dog and a friend to stay at his cabin.  I was in a canoe for the first time, rode in a small plane for the first time, and saw luminescence in the ocean for the first time (it's beautiful). I gambled one time in Vegas, and confirmed that I'm not a gambler, but I am a bit of a dare devil (confirmed by jumping off the Stratosphere). I was able to meet my favorite cousin and his fiancé in Austin and confirm how much I love that city. I can verify that Abilene isn't a place for single people, but the families that live there love it.  

I've been to a few concerts, met some local comedians and expanded my night outs to include comedy shows in craft stores. I have reflected on why I left the City, why I chose to jump into life with both feet, and a basic outline of a plan.  I have been able to get back involved in rescue, and have helped save the lives of quite a few puppies, dogs, cats, and kittens.  I have discovered that I'm not a good home body; I prefer to be out, meeting new people, learning about new experiences, discovering the city I've lived in for 17 years.  Columbus has grown exponentially since I moved here, the beer and food scenes are on point, the comedy scene is amazing, and there is always something to do.  It's been nice to travel knowing I have a home to return to, I don't think I could be a vagabond. I hate to admit it, but my traveling lifestyle will soon be behind me.  I have one more trip to Florida planned next week, otherwise I'm on the job boards, updating my resume, trying to find a position that would value me as much as I'd like to value the job and organization.  I don't know if I'll go back to government, or even stay in the same industry. I'd love to find a new challenge, something that uses my knowledge and experiences for the greater good. I'll settle for a position if I have to, money doesn't grow on trees after all, but I'm hoping to hold out as long as I can for the right position.  I'm extremely grateful for the past few months, traveling has been more fun than I imagined. 

New Year's Day

As I'm sitting here eating Jell-O and drinking vegetable broth, preparing for my colonoscopy and upper endoscopy tomorrow, my heart is heavy.  Today, the 1st day of 2018, a friend is grieving her husband who passed away suddenly yesterday, and another friend is across the country saying goodbye to his mother as she succumbs to cancer.  There are few to no words capable of describing what they are going through; it is hard to see those you care about suffer knowing you can do nothing for them.  The first day of a new year always feels like an opportunity to do anything to improve yourself, to take those to do's off the list and get them done, to take a hard look at your life and make a conscious choice to change what's negative, throw away toxic people, start taking charge of your health, begin looking for a job or career that fulfills your heart and soul.  This day is just a day, any one of us are capable of making these changes throughout the year, on a Wednesday, or in June.  The beginning of a new year feels like a fresh start, you've never lived in 2018 before, you've never woken up on this January 1st. I'm not one for resolutions, if you want to change, improve, make better choices, do it.  Don't wait for the start of a month, or a Monday, or a new year.  Look at yourself in the mirror and decide that today, this moment, is your chance.

I started this blog over 2 years ago, which seems insane to me.  I've continued to go through so much since the date I was diagnosed, and I continue to struggle and work through my failures and faults.  In 2018, my goal was to not have a surgery, however the opportunity presented itself to have a breast reduction and cut out some scar tissue that threatens my self-esteem daily.  This surgery is elective, to a point, I don't have to have it to cure cancer, or acid reflux, or prevent cancer.  This surgery is to improve my mental health, help me move past what cancer has done to my body.  I'm starting out 2018 with goals I've always had, improve myself, mentally, emotionally, physically.  This year, I am going to continue to evolve and identify what's important to me, reach on my tip toes to touch the stars that often feel just out of reach.  I have officially been single for a year, and I've learned a lot about how fragile I can be when a guy rejects me, ghosts on me, or is just plain mean to me. I value my self-confidence, it is one of my greatest qualities, and plan to continue being awesome into the New Year.

I hope that each of you were able to wake up this morning knowing you had another day ahead, another day to hug your loved ones, call those in your life who are far (physically or emotionally). If you have chosen to identify resolutions to yourself, keep them realistic, and actionable.  I will continue going to the gym, regardless of how much I truly hate working out; I will continue feeding my soul through volunteering and helping those who can't help themselves; I will continue searching for a career that makes me happy, and want to go to work each day; I will continue trying to be a good friend, daughter, sister; I will make 2018 a year to remember.